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hamburgurl:

I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math

(via cumfort)

Source: hamburgurl
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thejabberwocki:

If you ever get frustrated with your writing, just remember that Tolkien once described Feanor as
“wounded with many wounds”

(via quixoticphotography)

Source: thejabberwocki
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iphonevevo:

when the person who volunteers to read is completely illiterate   

image

(via asian)

Source: pokemonhub
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2073:

money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference

(via fake-mermaid)

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basementdemo:

my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed 

(via thisradshit)

Source: basementdemo
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rdjsass:

me whenever

(via guy)

Source: ppedropascal
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phosphorescentt:

gillianandersons:

do you ever realize that there was a moment when your mom or dad put you down as a baby and never picked you up again

I told my mom about this and she walked over and picked me up I am a 22 year old adult woman

(via tyleroakley)

Source: mulders
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splendidbuttsex:

ronaldalan:

rebelderadioactivo:

Me walking into school

Me at work

Me when I’m pretending to be a 9 year old girl when I’m actually 33 so that you would adopt me so I could sleep with your husband and murder your children.

(via surprisebitch)

Source: kverke